7 Ways to Find Love, Insights from an Experienced Psychic and Tarot Reader

You might be reading this with a quiet ache in your chest. Your phone’s been silent for days except for work notifications. Messages you send out go unanswered, yet you see those same people posting stories and updates online. It’s not that you haven’t tried, you’ve reached out, you’ve made plans, you’ve kept showing up, but lately it feels like connection is slipping through your fingers.

You’re not imagining it. The world is tired.

People are retreating into curated corners where connection looks alive but feels hollow. And when love feels hard to find, it’s easy to wonder if you’re behind, if something’s wrong with you, or if you’ve missed your window entirely.

After years of providing psychic readings and tarot readings online to people all over the world, I’ve learned that no one truly has it all together. Even the people we admire, the ones who seem successful and confident, often carry their own insecurities and vulnerabilities. The difference is that some take small, deliberate steps toward connection while others hide away.

These are the seven approaches I’ve seen make the biggest difference in my clients’ lives.

Read until the end, because you might find #1 the most surprising!

Many people struggle to understand what self-love actually looks like in practice. I appreciated this perspective from Psychology Today on moving toward authentic self-love in a grounded way.

7. Stop Comparing Yourself to a Past That Never Existed

   Many people who come to me for psychic readings speak longingly about a “better time” in life, a golden era when connection felt effortless, people seemed kinder, and love stories unfolded without complication. I understand why we reach for that vision. It’s comforting to imagine a chapter in history where relationships bloomed easily, where neighbors knew each other by name, and where loneliness was a rare feeling. That longing often says more about our need for safety, belonging, and warmth than it does about the past itself.

But the truth is, that exact era never truly existed. Humanity has always been in motion. Every generation has faced its own struggles, wars, economic hardship, inequality, heartbreak, loss. While the forms of connection may have looked different, the ache for love and the challenges in finding it have always been there.

What’s changed now is that we’ve layered on a new kind of isolation.

We hide behind screens, reduce romance to quick swipes, and trade deep emotional presence for fleeting approval online. We watch curated versions of other people’s lives and mistake them for reality, which only deepens the sense that something is missing in our own.

The antidote isn’t to mourn a past that was never perfect, but to create connection in the present. Even one small, intentional step, a genuine conversation, a shared laugh, a thoughtful message, can open the door to the kind of love and belonging we crave.

When people wonder if tarot can truly provide insight, it helps to remember that the cards are mirrors, not fortune-tellers. I explored this further in Can Tarot Predict the Future?

Sometimes the most powerful shifts come from small, gentle acts of compassion toward yourself. This article on cultivating self-acceptance offers practical ways to start.

6. Join Something That Exists Offscreen

   Years ago, in an online psychic reading, I asked a client to describe what life might look like with the partner she imagined. She lit up as she spoke: “We’ll go skiing in the winter, travel across Europe, play tennis.” I paused and gently pointed out that she wasn’t doing any of those things yet. If she wanted to meet someone who shared those interests, why not start living them now?

It was a simple shift in perspective, but it changed everything.

She joined a tennis club, booked skiing trips with local groups, and put herself in environments where she was surrounded by like-minded people. Not long after, she met a partner whose lifestyle aligned perfectly with the one she’d envisioned, they now travel, ski, and enjoy the very activities she once only talked about.

This isn’t about pretending you’re already in a relationship, it’s about creating a life that feels good on its own. If you dream of hiking with a partner, join a hiking club now. If you picture cooking together, sign up for a cooking class and meet others who love food. Whether the spark comes from a tarot reading online or from a moment of clarity in conversation, the principle is the same: start living the life you imagine before the relationship arrives, and you’ll naturally cross paths with people who belong in it.

When it comes to love, clarity matters more than endless searching. Mark Manson’s piece on how to find “the one” explores this idea in a refreshingly honest way.

5. Treat Life Like a Playground

    One thing I’ve seen repeatedly in my psychic medium readings is that love rarely appears when someone is rigid or hyper-focused on an outcome. The more you approach life with curiosity instead of pressure, the more magnetic you become.

Playfulness opens doors, and so does a willingness to step outside your comfort zone.

Connecting with a group of like-minded people is often where you’ll meet someone who shares your values and interests. My dad, for example, met his new wife at a divorce support group. Neither of them went in expecting romance, but they were open to meeting new people, and that openness became the bridge to a deep, lasting connection.

We’re all here to learn about love, through lessons involving family, friends and partners.

Some cards trigger an emotional reaction before we even read them. That’s why context is everything, as I shared in What Makes the Best Tarot Readings So Transformative.

Finding love often requires clearing space internally as much as externally. This post from Declutter the Mind breaks down how to approach love with awareness and intentionality.

4. Make Bravery Your Baseline

    Putting yourself out there takes courage, whether it’s walking into a social event alone, sending the first message online, or booking an online psychic reading when you’re feeling vulnerable. It’s not about pretending you’re confident, it’s about showing up anyway, even with the nerves, doubts, and “what ifs” swirling in your mind.

It’s easy to retreat into routine when you’re lonely, but real connection asks you to take risks.

Sometimes that means sitting next to someone new, asking a question, or saying yes to an invitation you might normally decline. The outcome isn’t guaranteed, but that single act of bravery might be the bridge between where you are now and the love you’ve been longing for. Every connection begins with someone taking the first step, and that step could be yours.

If you’ve ever felt confused by reversed cards, you’re not alone. They’re often the most misread of all, which I unpack in Unraveling the Truth About Reversed Tarot Cards.

3. Alchemize Your Emotions Into Something Selfless

    I avoid the word “manifesting,” but I’ve seen the power of combining clear intention with emotion. In my own life, after my first major breakup, I surrendered all material things to my ex and found myself standing in a bare, echoing space with nothing but grief for company.

The silence felt heavy. My appetite was gone.

Nights blurred into early mornings where sleep wouldn’t come, and I was left with the gnawing ache of wondering if I’d ever feel whole again.

One afternoon, in the middle of that loneliness, I decided to try something different, something I now call a road opener.

I lit a candle, set a 30-minute timer, and closed my eyes. I pictured my ex meeting the love of his life. I imagined them traveling together, laughing over meals, decorating their home, growing old side by side. At first, the tears came hot and fast, bitter, angry, laced with every memory and loss I thought I’d already processed.

But somewhere in that vision, something shifted.

My chest softened. The anger loosened its grip. By the time the timer rang, those tears had turned into something almost unrecognizable, genuine joy for him. And in that release, I felt the smallest, quietest spark of peace return to me.

I took a pen and wrote down the values I wanted in a partner, not a checklist of features, but the qualities that would matter decades down the road. At the top of the page, I dated it. Later, I realized it was the birthday of the person who would become my partner.

This practice didn’t “fix” everything in one go, it’s not a one-and-done event.

A road opener is a choice you make moment by moment. It’s about deciding to clear space inside yourself for something better to arrive, even if you don’t know when or how. In my psychic readings, I guide clients through this same process. I call it alchemizing emotions, transforming heaviness into a radiance that naturally draws the right people in.

If you’ve been weighed down by residual bitterness, loneliness, or heartbreak, this is one of the most powerful ways I know to take those dense emotions and turn them into something that not only frees you, but makes you magnetic to the love you’ve been longing for.

The goal is to combine your mind and emotions to see and feel something greater for someone else.

Love is selfless.

You might be lonely, but you’re never truly alone.

Tarot doesn’t only speak to love and heartbreak, it can also help with everyday choices. Here’s how I see it working in Daily Decision-Making.

While I don’t personally use love spreads, I know many people find tarot a helpful mirror for their heart. Here’s a thoughtful breakdown of tarot spreads for love.

2. Teach People How to Treat You by First Learning to Love Yourself

One of the most transformative truths my online psychic clients discover is that the way you love yourself sets the standard for how others will love you. If you’re not showing yourself respect, compassion, and care, it becomes much harder for others to know how to do it for you.

The challenge is, most people have forgotten how to love themselves. True self-love isn’t about quick indulgences or distractions, it’s about a consistent, intentional way of living.

It starts with speaking to yourself like someone you love.

Your inner voice becomes your emotional foundation. If you constantly tear yourself down, you’re quietly telling others it’s acceptable to do the same. Instead, replace self-criticism with self-compassion.

Set boundaries without guilt. Every time you agree to something you don’t want to do, you’re training yourself to ignore your own needs and showing others that your time and energy aren’t valuable. Saying “no” is not rejection,  it’s self-respect.

Keep promises to yourself. Follow through on the things you say you’ll do, whether it’s a small daily habit or a big life change. Each time you honor your own word, you reinforce trust in yourself.

Stop apologizing for existing. You’re allowed to take up space, have preferences, and express needs without softening them with “sorry” or “this is silly, but…”.

And finally, fill your life with what replenishes you. Identify the people, places, and activities that make you feel more like yourself and do them often. The more you invest in feeling whole on your own, the more others will recognize and respect that wholeness.

When you love yourself in a way that’s visible in your choices, you stop chasing people who can’t meet you there, and you naturally attract the ones who can.

For those interested in the deeper psychology behind the cards, Philosophy and Tarot offers another layer of meaning beyond surface symbolism.

1. Don’t Discard Meeting People Online

While many dream of meeting someone “organically,” life is busy, and in-person dating can be both exhausting and expensive. If you can, put yourself out there in real time, but also embrace the opportunities that come with meeting people online.

Your profile should be more than a list of stats. Share playful stories, fun facts, and glimpses of your style and humor. Let people see your confidence, even if your smile isn’t “perfect.” Include moments of vulnerability too — it makes you relatable and real.

And remember: no one has their life perfectly together.

You’re not behind.
You’re worthy of love exactly as you are.

I work with clients worldwide through online psychic readings and tarot readings that offer clarity, encouragement, and a deeper understanding of their personal path forward. Whether you’ve been single your whole life, are navigating life after a breakup, or are simply tired of feeling disconnected, love begins with connection, and connection begins with showing up as your true self.

And of course, if you’d like to move past common misreads and experience the accuracy of a grounded session firsthand, you can book a tarot reading with me here.

This blog was written by Chris Bennett, offering psychic and tarot readings to clients globally, regarded by many as one of the best tarot readers in the world, based in Canada.

I recommend the book “Calling in the One”, here’s a video from the author Katherine Woodward Thomas

This article was written by Chris Bennett, a world renowned tarot reader and internationally acclaimed psychic medium. Known for providing some of the best psychic readings in Canada and abroad, Chris specializes in tarot reading, psychic medium readings, and intuitive guidance that helps clients navigate love, relationships, and life’s turning points. Recognized as a genuine psychic and evidential medium, he offers clarity, healing, and direction for those seeking love psychic insights or wondering how to move forward when connection feels out of reach.