Becoming a hospice volunteer changed everything I thought I knew about dying.
As a psychic medium, I’ve spent years speaking with the spirit world, but volunteering at the bedside of the dying gave me something else: a front-row seat to the human experience at its most honest.
I used to believe that the final chapter of life was about shedding the ego, a soft spiritual exhale where people sank into quiet reflection, surrender, and inner peace.
I imagined silence, gratitude, perhaps a meditative gaze toward the beyond. And while that sometimes happens, the reality is often far less poetic, and far more human.
These are 10 things I’ve learned about life, death, and everything in between through my time in hospice care.
And what I’ve seen might change how you live, especially #1! Read all the way to the end!
10. Death Isn’t Always Spiritual, Sometimes It’s Ordinary
If you’ve ever wondered what the final days really look like, this honest perspective offers more insight into the contrast between expectation and reality.
People don’t always spend their last days in a state of reflection. More often, they’re watching Deal or No Deal, the news, or cheering for their favorite hockey team. It’s not always about surrender, it’s about comfort, familiarity, and still being part of the world.
That surprised me deeply, and grounded my understanding of death in reality, not fantasy.
If you’re curious how others have made peace with the dying process, this honest reflection from a fellow hospice volunteer offers powerful reminders of what truly matters in the end.
9. Every Personality Stays Intact
We don’t become saints at the end. For more on what really continues beyond the body, this piece on what happens after we die captures lessons from the other side.
Some people become private, shutting the door to the world and choosing solitude. Others leave their door wide open, welcoming anyone who wants to sit with them.
You don’t transform into a spiritual sage in your final days, you remain yourself. The personality doesn’t dissolve. It gently stays with you until your very last breath.
Some stories stay with you. Beryl’s experience as a hospice volunteer beautifully captures the quiet transformations that happen when you sit with the dying.
8. You Don’t Always Have to Talk, You Just Have to Listen
We think we have to say something profound, to fix something, or to fill silence.
But I’ve found the most powerful moments are when I simply listen. Hospice taught me to ask better questions: “How did that make you feel?” “What did you learn from that?” It’s not about advice.
It’s about witnessing someone else’s truth. And this lesson matters for the living just as much.
Want to explore the spiritual side of end-of-life care? This guide from Crossroads Hospice explains how belief, presence, and meaning shape the final chapter.
7. Cravings Still Matter, Even at the End
Taste changes. Appetites fade. But cravings are deeply emotional. One woman I sat with only wanted chocolate pudding. Another asked for crushed ice. The hospice kitchen becomes a sacred space, honoring the smallest pleasures with love.
Meeting these desires isn’t trivial, it’s a final act of dignity.
Some still go out for cigarettes. Others ask staff to help “check them out” just to feel the ritual of it, one more time. I remember a lovely Italian man who had a glass of wine with dinner every single night.
Even near the end, that glass was placed on his tray. It wasn’t about indulgence. It was about identity.
These small comforts are not about habits, they are about being seen for who they are, all the way to the finish line.
6. Silence Can Say Everything
To learn how non-verbal connection plays a role in psychic work too, check out this exploration of signs from spirit. You might be surprised by how much is said without a single word.
Some of the most meaningful connections I’ve had were with people who couldn’t speak. Dementia had taken their voice, but not their presence. I learned that words are not always needed to express love, understanding, or comfort.
A slow blink. A squeeze of the hand. A shared breath. These are conversations, too.
Celebrity medium Tyler Henry shares what he’s learned after thousands of readings. This Forbes interview dives into his views on life, death, and what continues beyond.
5. They Still Know You’re There
One woman never spoke a word, until one day, she looked at me and asked where I had been. She had remembered me, and she had been waiting. I told her I was back from a trip.
She smiled. We haven’t spoken since, but I still tell her stories, admire her eyes, and ask questions she can’t answer out loud. But I know she hears me.
4. The Slow Blink Is the Final Handshake
If you’re drawn to subtle forms of communication, 7 ways to enhance your intuition can help you recognize the quieter ways spirit, and people, speak.
Animals taught me this. Especially cats. A slow blink is a handshake of trust. In the final hours, when vocal cords soften and swallowing becomes impossible, those blinks are sometimes all a person can give. And they mean everything.
I’ve received more love through a single blink than through hours of conversation.
This article from The Shift Network explores how intuitive awareness and spiritual presence can offer peace and understanding in life’s most vulnerable moments.
3. Dying Often Comes Down to Something Small
It’s not always a dramatic moment. It can be a sip of water gone wrong. A bit of food that doesn’t go down. The body is fragile, especially in the throat.
Most people pass not in grand gestures, but through a soft surrender to the inevitable. It’s humbling to witness.
2. Volunteering Is a Mirror
You think you’re there to give, but hospice shows you who you are. Every encounter becomes a chance to practice patience, humility, and love without expectation.
You offer your time, but what you receive is immeasurable insight. Hospice is not just about death. It’s about truth.
1. We All Want to Be Seen
Whether they say it aloud or not, everyone wants to be seen, to be acknowledged as real, as whole, as meaningful. The best thing you can do for someone in their final chapter is to look them in the eyes and let them know: I see you. You matter. You are not forgotten.
I’ve always been fascinated by the subject of life after death. To outsiders, or anyone who doesn’t know me for my values, this used to seem like a morbid approach to life. But I immerse myself in spaces that are unknown, uncertain, and deeply tender.
These are the places I find comfort.
Death equalizes all of us. It’s the one truth we all share. I’ve come to believe that our purpose here isn’t just to exist, but to recognize how interconnected everything truly is.
We are only separated by bodies, but we are all the same source of creation, expressed in different forms.
After sitting beside so many people at the end of life, people still holding on to habits, to attachments, to the weight of what no longer matters, I’ve come to see how essential it is to live intentionally now.
Here’s what to expect from a reading with me if you’re curious how this reflective approach carries into my sessions.
If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this, it’s to start asking more open-ended questions to connect more deeply to people around you while you’re still alive
Get to know people. Let them feel emotionally seen. Be present with those you love. Don’t take things so personally. Live with as much spiritual awareness as you can while you’re still here. None of us are promised a tomorrow.
If you were to go tomorrow, how would you want to be remembered?
So when life throws challenges your way, financial stress, family tension, heartbreak, remember, we don’t get to bring any of it with us. But we can learn from it. And on the other side of that learning, you may just find peace.
In the end, hospice taught me that death is not about disappearing. It’s about being seen, felt, and heard one last time, and maybe, in that quiet space, learning how to live better too.
Want to read more reflections on life, death, and the spirit world? Explore What Happens After We Die: 12 Lessons from Spirit or A Psychic Medium’s Experience with Death and Spirit Presence.
If you’re new here, you can learn more about me and my background as a psychic medium, or explore what to expect from a Life Path Tarot Reading.
Curious about what animals teach us in spiritual work? You may enjoy Do Pets Visit After They Pass? The Signs You’ll Notice First.
And for those drawn to intuitive growth, don’t miss 7 Practical Ways to Enhance Your Intuition.
